Bendy And The Ink Machine Chapter 4 OST [Endings and Beginnings]
Beginnings and Endings
I've always loved September with its promising start of another school year. Shopping for back-to-school supplies, weeding out the summer clothes that no longer fit, having one last weekend camping trip or getaway, all are rites of passage that for me signal the change from one season to another. And I love the academic calendar with its set schedule and certainty: nine months of classes punctuated by breaks and holidays that you can mark in the filofax.
But there are things I can't plan or predict. And neither can other women who are going through perimenopause. Namely, when will it end? My local librarian, a woman whom I trade menopausal complaints with, thinks she's got another two years: she's had eight years of insomnia and night sweats, and she thinks she might be nearing the end. You can't exactly pencil that in. No two women go through this time in sync or in the same way or with the same symptoms. I've read that most women's menopausal symptoms diminish over two to five years, though for some ten years is the norm.
So for a person who likes nothing more than to look nine months in advance and set important events into her day planner, this uncertainty is maddening at times. And having a reproductive calendar that used to be as reliable as Greenwich Mean Time go haywire and missing, is distressing, to say the least. That's why I'm trying to live by a new calendar, a one-day-at-a-time or one-minute-at-a-time depending on the day or the minute. And I'm trying to let go of all that I can't schedule: erratic periods, mercurial moods, unpredictable changes in body temperature – not that I'd put those on the calendar in any event but you know what I mean.
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